It has just been one of those icky, shitty rainy days that was created for sleeping in and being lazy. Summer has finally given way to fall, and the temperatures went from about 95 to 55 practically over night. Laziness leads to boring list-y blogs…
Like this one.
Now that I’m older….. here’s what I have discovered:
1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and All-Bran.
3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart. Damnit.
4. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
5. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
6. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it? Sure as hell ain’t nowhere around here…
7. It is a whole lot easier to get older, than to get wiser.
8. Some days, you’re the top dog. Some days, you’re the hydrant. Most times I am the hydrant. Okay, technically, I am ALWAYS the hydrant.
9. I wish the buck really did stop here. I sure could use a few of them. They need to stop. Soon. In my mailbox.
10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
12. It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.
13. The world only beats a path to your door when you’re in the bathroom. The phone only rings when I am on the can.
14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he’d have put them on my knees. They are fine where they are.
15. When I’m finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess. or Checkers. Or Bunco. Whay IS Bunco, anyway?
16. It’s not hard to meet expenses… they’re everywhere. and they hate me.
17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. and the occupant.
18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . .I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I’m “here after”. Screw it.
19. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
20. Wait……What was that again?