To Have and to Hold, from this day forward…..


Mr and Ms Herp Derp de Derp Derp on 16 September, 2000

I used to be a romantic, one of those sickly sweet fairy-tale worshipping romantically-inclined types. I remember reading fairy-tales, growing up and hoping, one day, that would be me. I was a strong and firm believer of love at first sight, eyes catching eyes, and hands clasped in adoration and affection.

Then reality reared his ugly head. I was squashed. Over and over. One boy left me ( he was gay), one left me because I gained weight, and the last had left me because I couldn’t have kids and he wanted a small soccer team’s with of children. I was a square peg. Squashed like a bug. Obliterated in the  face of what I thought was true love. I gave up, I gave in, I gave out. Screw it. I am over this. I didn’t need anyone in my life.

I now realize, that those instances were not real love. It was hideous combination of youth, and neediness and stupidity and really crappy choices. I made bad choices. I had someone in my life because I thought I HAD to have someone in my life. I was young and more in love with the idea of LOVE then the person at the time. I made a lot of really bad decisions based on the fact that I thought I needed someone. The fact of the matter was…I didn’t need them. So their dumping me…was actually kismet….fate…

I have to say, that when people say, when you are not looking for love you will find it. I certainly was not looking for anyone in my life. I was just unceremoniously dumped by someone I was with for over a year. After my embolism. While in the hospital. At Christmastime. It was like a bad joke, or a good country music song. After that debacle I swore sworn off men. Well, I had also sworn off BBQ chips and artichoke dip, but that is another matter altogether. I bought a computer for the house to help Dad with his business. I was sick of typing invoices and keeping accounts payable in a ledger. I plugged it in and I was off teaching myself Word and Excel ’95. I found the internet. I was messing around on Yahoo personals and entered in some information. Back then, it took 24 hours for it to delete. I was frantic. I was embarrassed . The next day, I had a response. I was not looking for anyone….But once I found him… well, my life has never been the same, in every good way possible.

We are goofy. Goofy as hell. He likes Sci Fi and I like Sci-Fi. He is happy sitting home quietly on the couch and I am happy sitting nearby and reading. We like action movies. We love Marvel and DC graphic novels. We both enjoy watching “Sleepy Hollow” and “Property Brothers”. We ENJOY each other’s company. He cannot wait to come home at night, and I can’t wait for him to come home. 14 years of marriage and I still wait at the door for him. He lets me do my thing in life, and supports me throughout.

Mike is my best friend. He is my rock. He is my strength. I drive him crazy by completing his sentences . He knows me better than I know myself. Scary thought indeed. He reads me better than anyone. He cheers me up when I am down and he pulls my head out of the clouds when I am I am being nutty ( which is pretty damn often). He was my rock when the house burned down and my strength when I thought I was without. He drives me crazy in every good way possible.

He is the smartest, funniest man I know. He makes me laugh. That is THE single, most important part of marriage. If your mate cannot make you laugh, and bring joy to your heart, why be married? I love that he makes me laugh. That last one is worth repeating… HE MAKES ME LAUGH.


So thank you, Mike, for marrying me. Thank you for the crazy ride that has been the last 14 years. Thank you for (trying to) teaching me patience. Thank you for encouraging me. Thank you for teaching me “the glass is 1/2 full…not 1/2 empty”. Thank you for being my rock, my isle of calm in rough seas. Calming my fears, wiping my tears and kicking my rear.

I love you to Pluto and back, even though Neill deGrasse Tyson and his thugs said that Pluto is not a not a planet anymore, they were responsible for the demotion of Pluto from planetary status.

I love you to the Moon and back. There…That one is SAFE.

Happy Anniversary!!!


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