The day started off grand. There was a rustle coming from the right hand side of the room, followed by a soft thunk. The noise ended almost as soon as it began, and I lay back down and closed my eyes. I had gone to bed well after midnight and it was just a few minutes shy of being 0530 in the morning.
Anyone who knows me, knows I have had chronic insomnia for about 30 years. I can go 3 days without sleep, at max, but that stretches the limits of my sanity. I would NOT, however recommend being around me, cranky, and sharp implements. I mean, that is just a stabbing in the chest waiting to happen.
Anyhoo, as I was saying….
The soft thunk, after a few minutes, gave way to a slidy metal-on-wood noise that I have heard way too often. It was the sound of a metal trashcan on top of our TV cabinet. My DH and I have taken to placing the trash can 6 feet in the air, on top of the TV cabinet to get it out of the way of The Ween knocking it oven and rustling in it’s earthy delights. Apparently The Ween managed to not only get up on the dresser, but to get from the dresser to the top of the wardrobe. We are talking a move worthy of Spiderman. Ween has a lot of endearing traits, but his handle on gravity is not one of them. He has made horrendous leaps and twisted tumbled and indelicate falls off the couch, on a nearly daily basis. He has all the coordination of a drunken prom date missing a shoe.
Somehow, Caption Coordination managed to levitate his 23lb fuzzy fat ass onto the wardrobe and did that which only cats can do. At 0530 he suddenly turned in THAT GIANT ASSHOLE CAT and knocked the trashcan off the wardrobe and onto the floor and I woke like my ass just spontaneously caught fire.
Seriously. I almost wanted to kill him. I am gonna be some kind of cranky as hell later on…
What is he doing now?…..SLEEPING….