Like a Boss…..

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About a month ago my husband Mike and I made a flying, without a net, leap into puppyhood. Last time I had a dog was about 30 years ago. Mike’s experience was with a dog that stayed outside, no matter the weather. Now, I come for a long, LONG line of spoilers of both canine and feline, so I was prepared, or so I thought.

We were approved by Underdog Ranch pet adoptions for a sweet baby we saw on their website, and I had seen the above picture. I was sold. Hook, line and sinker. Despite the inner warnings that, given her overall look,  we should never expose her to bright light ; never get her wet; and, most importantly: no matter how much she cries or begs, never, ever feed her after midnight, we took her home with us. Not before going to Petsmart and dropping a veritable ASSLOAD of a crate, toys, treats and other necessary crap we needed for a dog of spoilage status. We brought her home at night, in her new crate, and set her down. She looked at us, and we looked at her and we all had the “okay, no what” expression on all of our faces.

Well, not all of our faces. We have two cats. Sophie and Wilson. Who were less than pleased. In fact, they were downright pissed off that we did the

unthinkable. We brought one of THOSE into their hallowed halls. The Canine to their Feline. Oh how the mighty took a tumble out of the litter box. That first night was, in a word, hellish. Pissed off cats, a puppy who was terrified and peeing everywhere, and two people who were like “arrrooo…dog?”. Could not have gone worse unless we brought home a human baby.

Gemma, our renamed little bundle of adopted, pissing all over the place JOY, was inconsolable in her crate at night, unable to sleep. I swear I walked her every half of an hour until Mike got up at 630AM to get ready for work. Her favorite move? Walk, walk, walk walk all over outside for an hour—come in, run upstairs and unload in the guest room and then run downstairs doing only what could loosely be classified as a “victory dance”. Pretty soon it became the “look at me dance because I dropped a deuce and a squirt in the guest room” tango that I DREADED.

( to be continued)

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